Why Nothing
Has Updated

Those of you who follow me on Twitter know I joke about Attention Deficit Disorder a lot. In reality, there’s nothing funny about ADD, and I have a fairly severe case of it. Once I was diagnosed and medicated, things got much easier for me and I was able to focus (and finish things) in a way which I’d never been. Then last week my health insurance company decided they were no longer covering my treatment.

Most drugs used for ADHD are controlled for a reason, and withdrawal from them isn’t fun. For the past few days, I havenn’t able to get out of bed, let alone put words together. Then when the physical withdrawal wore off, I was reminded why I was on this medication in the first place.

It’s hard to describe what it’s like inside the mind of a person with ADD to those who don’t have it except to say that I can never (not even with medication) focus on a single task, nor can I ever sit still. In school, I was the kid practicing tap steps under the desk while I took exams, who would start a new assignment before finishing the previous, who couldn’t ever just buckle down and see something to completion.

It was one thing when I was in college, and the worst that could happen was that my GPA wasn’t be as high as it could have been. But at thirty-three years old, I’m the primary caregiver of two children (a five-year-old boy and a two-year-old girl) and their safety depends on my ability to focus. Thankfully, my doctor came through for me, fought my insurance company and won. I hope to feeling like myself again in a few days.
As always, thanks for your patience and understanding.

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12 Responses

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  1. on 18 Jul 2010 at 9:54 amknit1purr2

    Sleepyval,
    Sorry to hear that because of bureaucratic BS you’ve been made to suffer through this but I am happy that your Doctor is a fighter. Just get back to being you and the updates will come when they come. Goodluck.
    K1P2

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  2. on 18 Jul 2010 at 1:33 pmtariana

    Don’t worry honey, get better first and them back to us, we love you.

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  3. on 18 Jul 2010 at 1:47 pmarfalcon

    Depending on what you’re on, some of those Rxs are ridiculously expensive. my insurance doesn’t cover mine yet, because I haven’t been officially diagnosed. My internist, a wonderful woman a few years older than me, suggested I try a low dose of adderall when I mentioned that I thought menopause was making my brain fracture and I couldn’t concentrate long enough to pay bills. I didn’t mention that I could still stay up all night reading fanfiction, and perhaps the fact that I’m sleep-deprived might have something to do with my lack of focus.

    The meds have helped a lot. I’m still experimenting to see what works best for me.

    Hope you feel better soon.

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    Colleen reply:

    Thank you. Be careful if you ever go off the Adderall. As I learned this week, withdrawal symptoms are real, and they’re diblitating, Cold turkey isn’t the way to go.

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  4. on 18 Jul 2010 at 3:29 pmGabi

    I’m sorry to hear this. Get well soon! If you update, it’s always a great thing but now your health is the most important.

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  5. on 18 Jul 2010 at 3:59 pmlovestoread24

    Wow, just wow. You have my utmost sympathy. My 7 year old son has a severe case of ADHD ( so severe it was actually diagnosed when he was only 4), and has been on medication for 2 1/2 years. The medication is a life saver, and so crucial for him. Glad your doctor was able to fight for you, and hope you are feeling like yourself soon.

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    Colleen reply:

    Thank you. It’s something not a lot people understand, but a legit inability to focus is a serious thing.

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  6. on 18 Jul 2010 at 6:42 pmpatty

    hang in there. there’s no rush obviously ;) thanks for giving us a heads up though. you didn’t need to but i appreciate it. i’m glad you’ll be getting better ;)

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  7. on 20 Jul 2010 at 9:27 amMelody aka sunshinemommy

    The brightest people are all ADHD ;) At least that’s what I like to tell myself, lol. (DH’s the only one WITHOUT ADHD in our family.) You’re absolutely right that other people just don’t get it. DH still doesn’t understand after 22+ years and 3 kids.

    I’m glad your doctor worked it out with insurance.

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  8. on 21 Jul 2010 at 3:46 amandii cullen pattinson

    jut get better we know somethimes things can be how we wanna them to be but dont lose faint in it
    I hoe the medication is working for better :) dont feel preasure on uploading (even if yeah im diying to read more LOL) things happends
    be great, take care
    see u in the next upload :D

    xx
    -a

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  9. on 21 Jul 2010 at 8:37 pmMeilleur Cafe

    I’m so glad your doctor was able to advocate successfully for you. I hope you’re feeling better soon.

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  10. on 31 Jul 2010 at 1:16 amAna

    All my love for you from Argentina. Hope you´re feeling well soon. Don´t worry about updating, we´ll be waiting. Thankyou so much for writting and sharing your amazing stories.

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