Monday Musings

I’m naturally introspective. I think, usually too often and too much, analyzing everything. This is especially true of milestones and anniversaries, and the process of writing the end of Counterpoint has been no different.

In many ways, Counterpoint is the greatest gift my involvement in fic has given me. It started as a simple writing exercise in narrative voice when I asked myself if I could create a narrative voice that was distinctly male, then expanding into a full-blown study in perspective—how two people can take two completely different things from the same experience, and context can change the entire landscape of a story. I’ve grown so much through the process of writing it—as an artist and a human being, and I am eternally grateful for this.

There is one chapter remaining of Counterpoint, but it’s not the end of these characters. I owe several Fandom Gives Back pieces from Eclipse, and many winners have asked for more Youngward. Speaking of Fandom Gives Back, after much thought I have decided I will not be participating in this round. I massively overextended myself last time, and I cannot in good conscience commit to additional projects when I still have so many outstanding obligations. Perhaps after I’ve caught up (and I will catch up; I take my commitments very seriously), I’ll do the next round.

Many reviewers have commented that the last chapter of Counterpoint was not nearly as graphic as they’d thought it would be. There was one part in particular that concerned me:

I didn’t want to rush it; it was all too significant. It wasn’t about fetishes or my fascination with her backside—it was about her giving herself to me in a way in which she’d never given herself to another human being. Taking her in the ass was just a metaphor—a hard-on inducing, fantasy-worthy, fantastically kinky metaphor. Her days of holding out on me were over. Wanting to express my gratitude, I fell to my knees and kissed her—trailing my tongue over both where my fingers had just been and where I knew they were about to go—before rising to my feet and making the necessary preparations.

I will now admit to being stressed about a rim job. Even slash writers tend to avoid writing them, as many readers are squicked by them. However, I felt strongly that it was in character and needed to be included, that as a precursor to the act that causes B so much pain, it needed to be clear that Youngward was not just thinking about his own gratification.

I hope this came through.

As always, thanks for reading, and I hope everyone has a great week.

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  1. on 21 Jun 2010 at 2:42 pmSassyk

    I may be in the minority, but I equated it with an act of reverence. The way he fell to his knees in gratitude spoke volumes and knowing Youngward and the emotions he was feeling at the time, it couldn’t be anything but.


  2. on 21 Jun 2010 at 3:12 pmarfalcon

    I think you made it clear that Edward wasn’t focused on only himself, and Sassyk’s reference to a sense of “reverence” is excellent. Edward just wasn’t sufficiently experienced to know how to make the experience more tolerable for Bella, and it may be that anal sex will never be something pleasurable for Bella. We’re all built differently, and what works for one person isn’t necessarily nice for someone else.

    You’ve done an incredible job of keeping these characters true to themselves, and it’s impossible to imagine Edward doing anything solely for his own pleasure. You addressed a complicated and intimate act with discretion, compassion, and a healthy dose of reality. It was really well done.


  3. on 21 Jun 2010 at 7:04 pmpatty

    it was just right for me. very edward. very very him.
    i like that you showed how he did think this through and it wasn’t just some fantasy coming to life.
    i can’t believe there’s just one more left from counterpoint but it’s been an awesome journey. i’ve told you every single time how attached i am to your characters and i hope i get to see more of them via outtakes or whatever you share.

    thanks for this journey. it’s been great.


  4. on 21 Jun 2010 at 8:01 pmLucy

    I will miss this, dearly. Your stories mean more to me than any other I’ve ever read, and it makes me sad that we or you have come to an end. I’ll still keep an eye on what you do, and as always pray for outtakes or as “patty” wrote; whatever you share. You are truly gifted!


    Colleen reply:

    thank you so much for this. I’m having kind of a shit day, and well, you have no idea how much this means.


  5. on 22 Jun 2010 at 12:47 amCarolyn

    The end of Counterpoint is certainly sad as your writing of Edward and Bella’s characters have been so true and well developed. For me, they have stood out most clearly against so many I have read. Thank you for taking us on this journey with you. I look forward to any outtakes you may share with us in the future.


  6. on 22 Jun 2010 at 1:03 amSHC92

    It’s hard for me to think of this journey as ending…so I won’t…yet. :) I can certainly understand your decision re: FGB this time around. What you’ve already delivered is just amazing; I think you went above and beyond last time and have produced some amazing work. I am sorry it’s taken it’s toll, however, so glad you made the right decision for yourself, and I will definitely be looking out for the other pieces.
    On to chapter 50…I can only echo what’s been already stated above…I’m SO glad we got Youngward’s POV for this. I didn’t feel like any part of this act was minimized, and E’s actions and emotions were very in character, keeping with his love and renewed hope for the future with Bella. I always got that the trust was the bigger driver here. Thank you!


  7. on 28 Jun 2010 at 10:13 pmdaisy12

    I enjoyed counterpoint so much – I’m looking forward to any other stories you decide to write, your characters are so well written! Thank you for sharing your wonderful talent.


  8. on 19 Jul 2010 at 6:14 amninja 650 lady

    My whole issue is my lips move when I think.