Her breasts would be my undoing. As I held one in each hand, Bella leaned back against the pillows, sighing. I squeezed and stroked, and her legs fell open in a silent invitation for me to move my hands lower. I didn’t need to touch her there to know she was wet. The crotch of her panties was a shade darker than the rest of them. Still, when I brushed the backs of my fingers between her legs, the extent of her arousal surprised me nonetheless. She impatiently raised her hips off the bed and pushed her underwear off, fully exposing herself to me.
The woman of my dreams was naked and spread eagle in my bed. She put her hand against her face and slowly sucked two of her fingers into her mouth.
“Touch yourself,” I whispered.
Her other hand trailed down her body, pinching her nipple before settling between her legs. She spread herself to give me a better view before one of her fingers disappeared inside her opening.
“Mmmm…” Her whimper was an invitation.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I grabbed her, positioned myself between her legs, and pushed inside her.
“Oh, Edward you’re so big,” she moaned. “You give me multiple orgasms every time you fuck me.”
As I continued to work her with my battering ram, her moans intensified.
“I’m having another one right now. Oh, Edward.” She slapped my bare ass as she writhed beneath me. “Oh, God, I’m having another one. Oh, God, there goes another.” She spanked me again. “Oh, God. Oh, God.”
“God isn’t doing this to you, Bella. I am,” I explained as I continued to pump in and out of her.
“Edward,” she moaned again, poking me on the chest with her index finger.
It seemed strange that she would poke me during the act. I wondered if she was trying to show me how she wanted me to work it. I altered my pace to match the rhythm of her finger.
“Edward.” She pressed her finger into my chest again.
We continued poking, her with her finger, me with my cock. I was very close to coming when she spoke.
“Baby, if we’re going to do this, it needs to be without pajamas and with a condom.”
I opened my eyes. I was in Bella’s bed, assaulting her with my morning wood. I was mortified when I realized I’d just had a wet dream while sleeping with Bella. I looked down between us and my cheeks burned with the realization that if not for our clothing, I would have either penetrated her in my sleep or come all over her sheets. I was such an asshole.
“Oh, God, Bella, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, Edward. Really.” She stroked my cheek, and just as I began to relax a bit, she lowered her eyes and stared directly at my erection, plainly visible through my pajama pants. “Good morning.”
I pulled the comforter up to my chest and turned my face into the pillow in embarrassment.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Could you be more specific?”
I didn’t look at her as I spoke. “I spent the night here because I wanted to sleep with you. You know, to hold you and feel close to you. I didn’t want to assault you.”
Or remind you that I was still a teenager with my nocturnal almost-emission, I added silently.
She laughed. “You didn’t assault me. Edward, you should never be embarrassed about how your body reacts to me. My body reacts the same way to you. You just can’t always tell.”
“I appreciate the gesture, Bella, but I don’t want you to lie to me to make me feel better.”
“I’m not lying.”
She moved herself out from under the sheet, put one of her hands inside her underwear and began to stroke herself. This time, I wasn’t dreaming. She pulled her hand out of her underwear and held it up for me to see. Two of her fingers were obviously wet.
“See? Constant state of arousal.”
As I pondered the enormity of the idea that I could do that to her, I came in my pants. I may have been embarrassed before, but now I was truly humiliated.
“So do you understand now? You have nothing whatsoever to be ashamed of.”
“May I move the comforter?” she asked.
She still wanted to check out my erect penis, no doubt wanting to ascertain if I was worth all this trouble. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her there was no longer anything down there worth seeing.
“No.” My voice was panicked.
“Don’t tell me you’re still embarrassed.”
That would be the understatement of the decade. I knew I had to tell her. I didn’t want her sleeping in day-old jizz.
“Yes. I mean, um, no. Well, the…er…the situation kind of resolved itself.” I prayed she’d understand what I was saying.
She looked at me blankly for twelve seconds before realization altered her face.
“Okay, Edward. Why don’t you shower first?”
She got out of bed, and I was overwhelmed with gratitude. She’d understood without forcing me to say it out loud.
“I’ll get breakfast started. As much as I’d like to spend all day cuddling in bed with you, I have quite a bit to get done today.” She pulled her shirt back on and kissed me gently on the lips. “Don’t be embarrassed,” she whispered. “I love that your body reacts to me. Before you come join me, would you mind stripping the bed? Monday is my laundry day.”
I fell a little more in love with her. This realization made coming home to an extremely uncomfortable conversation with my parents that much more bearable.
When I walked through the back door of my house, they were both sitting there on the couch, waiting for me.
“Before you say anything, I’m sorry. Really Mom, I am. I had genuinely believed that Dad told you, though I know for something this big you deserved to hear it from me. I hate that I upset you. I never meant to…”
“Edward, sit,” she said authoritatively. “I’m not sure what to be more upset about right now – that you’re dating a teacher at the high school you attended up until a week ago, or that this has been going on for months and neither you nor your father felt compelled to tell me. Though I realize it was not intentional on either your part or your father’s, I’m still upset with both of you. You can’t imagine how betrayed I felt last night at dinner, knowing that I was the only person in the room who’d entered the situation blindly.”
“I know, Mom, and I’m sorry. Really I am.”
“Tell me, Edward. Was your inability to tell me yourself a manifestation of shame you have about your relationship?”
“No,” I answered immediately. “As far as Bella is concerned, I have done nothing shameful.”
I gulped. I knew what she was asking. This was so hard to discuss with my mother. “No.”
“So you haven’t…”
“And you haven’t felt pressured to do so?”
She sighed. “I’m trying to understand the motivations here.”
“You met her. She’s beautiful and intellectual. Why wouldn’t I want to be with her?”
“It isn’t your motivations that concern me.”
Oh. I knew what was coming.
“You’re questioning hers.”
“Why?” I asked. “You’ve always told me any girl would be crazy not to fall in love with me.”
“That’s true. Any girl would. Bella, however, is a grown woman.”
“So why not a woman? Why not this woman? Mom, she was never my teacher, and though I may have had a thing for her for months, she never knew about it. She had no idea who I was when we met. We talked about art and literature. Bella likes me for me. You always said that age doesn’t matter, and that I shouldn’t feel defective because I couldn’t connect with my peers. You said socializing with adults was just as valuable.”
“Edward, you know very well that particular discussion was about finding you a chess partner.”
“Why is a life partner any different?”
Her eyes widened. “You are that serious about this woman?”
“Yes. She’s it for me, though she doesn’t know I feel that way. She keeps up with me, challenges me. I’m completely myself around her and she likes it. She likes me. She’s not put off by how my mind works.”
“Edward, you’re going to meet so many people like you when you start college. Until now, you’ve had a very small pool from which you could select acquaintances…”
“Mom, if you had met Dad when you were sixteen, would have known he was the one?”
“Your father and I are almost exactly the same age.”
“That’s not the point.”
She sighed. “I would have thought he was the one, yes, but I still would have wanted to shop around a bit to make sure.”
I looked over at my father. “Would you have known at sixteen mom was the one?”
He looked at my mother. “Absolutely.”
“Stop it, Carlisle. You’re still in deep shit with me, whether you kiss my ass or not.”
“Esme, when have I ever kissed your ass solely to get back into your good graces?”
She glared at him. “When have you not?”
“It’s not ass kissing if it’s true.” He leaned over and kissed her lightly on the lips. She pushed him away. “You’re not going to distract me. I’m not done with either of you.”
We sat there silently for fifty-four seconds. I started to feel panicked.
“Are you going to forbid me to see Bella?”
“No, Edward, if for no other reason than I know that wouldn’t work. Besides, in two months you’ll be at Princeton and able to do whatever you want anyway. Though I don’t trust her motivations are entirely pure, I’m not going to stand in your way. I would like to get to know her a bit better. I want you to invite her to spend Fourth of July weekend with us down the shore.”
“What, so you can chaperone?”
“I have no intention of hovering, Edward. Last night notwithstanding, your father and I raised you better than to hop into bed with the first woman who looks at you.”
My face suddenly felt sun burnt. “Mom, I told you, we haven’t had sex. Why do you keep bringing this up?”
“There are women out there who are predators, Edward. I see it all the time.”
“Bella is not a pedophile.”
“Then you’ll have no problem with me getting to know her better. Besides, if you’re so certain she’s the one, shouldn’t I have a relationship with my future daughter-in-law?”
I sighed. “You are both patronizing and manipulating me.”
“Yes, I am. It’s called parenting, Edward, and it’s for your own good. Oh, and for the record, I’m incredibly disappointed in you. I didn’t raise you to be so inconsiderate of other people’s feelings.”
“I know that I hurt you last night, Mom, and I’m truly sorry. I don’t think it’s possible for me to convey the level of my regret.”
“It’s okay, Edward. There’s no doubt you fucked up big time, but I understand there was no malice on your part. I take it Bella didn’t know you hadn’t told me?”
I shook my head.
“Poor girl. All things considered, she handled herself quite well. I never would have thought she was twenty-four to look at her. Honestly, I would have guessed she was about nineteen. There’s a certain childlike quality to her.” She paused, then added more to herself than to me. “I wonder what her relationship is like with her parents and siblings.”
“She has none.”
“Which? Siblings or parents?”
“Both, really. She’s an only child who isn’t close to either of her parents.”
My mother nodded, and I could see the gears shifting in her head. “No spending the night over at her house until I know her better. I don’t care if you spend every daylight hour over there, but I want you sleeping under my roof.”
“Okay,” I conceded. “So, you don’t have a problem with me seeing her?”
My mother sighed. “I suppose not.”
“I still want to get to know her better, Edward.”
“You will.” I went over to my mother and kissed her cheek. “May I be excused? I know Bella was nervous about me talking to you, and I’d like to put some of her fears to rest.”
My mother nodded, and I ran up the steps to my room. I flopped on my bed and was just about to call Bella when she called me to invite me to dinner at Rose and Emmett’s house. I was grateful for invitation. I had plans with my father the following day and wouldn’t be able to see Bella again until later in the week.
I picked up some flowers for Bella on my way to her house. As I walked to her front door, I noticed her grass was roughly a foot tall. She probably didn’t have a lawn mower. I wanted to mow it for her, but then I remembered we didn’t have a lawn mower, either. My mother employed professional landscapers. I doubted that Bella would let me hire them to mow her lawn as well, but she probably wouldn’t mind if I mowed it for her myself. I made a mental note that when I got back from the shore with my father, I’d take care of her lawn.
Later that evening, as I drove Bella home from Rose’s, she seemed deep in thought. I walked her to her door and explained that I wouldn’t be able to see her again until Wednesday.
She looked up at me with anticipation, and I knew she wanted me to kiss her. I wondered if I would ever stop feeling nervous around her, if I would ever feel as though I could touch her freely, if it would ever feel as though she were mine. Though she’d made it clear I didn’t have to ask her permission to show her physical affection, I still wanted to give her the chance to decline.
“I’m going to kiss you now,” I whispered before gently pressing my lips to hers. She pressed her body against mine, and I knew she wanted more. As much as I wanted to follow her inside and undress her, I needed her to understand that this was not the only reason I enjoyed her company. I squeezed her gently and stepped away, ending the kiss before either of our tongues became involved. Late but better than never, I gave her the first kiss she deserved.