It was everything I thought it would be and then some.

The ninth time Bella fell to her knees before me and opened my pants, I didn’t stop her. She grasped my cock in both of her hands and smiled up at me. Without taking her eyes off mine, she took me into her mouth. It was warm and wet, though surprisingly not to the extent of her vagina. She sucked me deeper inside her; my head explored beyond her mouth and her uvula, finding a tight place in what I assumed was her throat that nestled it perfectly. I didn’t recognize the sounds I was making, nor were my thoughts coherent. I stopped trying to think, and instead I held her hair and lost myself.

I was the one who came, but when Bella carefully put my now-flaccid cock back inside my boxers and zipped my fly, the expression on her face was one of satisfaction.

Did she actually enjoy giving oral as much as she claimed she did?

Pondering this thought, I joined her on the floor and pulled her into my arms. My silence seemed to unnerve her.

“What are you thinking?” she asked.

“My first thought was that declining your offer to…”

She raised an eyebrow. “Suck you off?”

“Yeah, that.”

“Or do you prefer the phrase ‘give you head’? There’s also the more classic ‘blow job’.”

“All of them. I should have let you do that the first time you wanted it. Fuck my principles. Except when you wanted to go down on me on the drive down here. I’m fairly sure I would have crashed the Volvo.”

She laughed. “That good, huh?”

“There are no words.” I thought about how Bella had always claimed she loved sucking cock. Though I was grateful she did, I couldn’t imagine she got anything out of it. Having me ram it down her throat couldn’t have felt good.

“I love you,” I whispered.

“I know you do.” She settled herself between my legs and rested her back against my chest. “Every man I’ve ever known has fallen in love with the woman who sucks his cock. Sometimes the emotion lasts longer than the blow job.”

I slipped my hands under Bella’s skirt, remembering she wasn’t wearing underwear when my fingertips came into contact with her bare lips. If the amount of moisture I found there was any indication, Bella hadn’t been lying when she said that she enjoyed giving head.

“What am I going to do?” I asked, slipping a finger inside her. “I need this.” I added a finger and started stroking her clitoris with my other hand. “I need you.”

I bit her earlobe gently before tracing its neighboring cartilage with my tongue. She squirmed against me, her ass causing friction against my rapidly hardening cock.

“I’ll never make it through the school week without feeling you…without making you come. If I call you and ask you to touch yourself, will you be a good girl and indulge me?”

“Yes,” she moaned.

“Will you stay on the phone so I can hear you?”

“I’ll do whatever you want.” Her voice was breathy even for a whisper. “Just make me come.”

I slowed my fingers that were working her clitoris, teasing her. “I want a picture.”

“I said I’d pose for portraits with you. Edward, please. I’m so close…”

“Not those pictures, though I want them, too. I want a headshot.”

“Like the yearbook? Oh, god…”

I knew I was manipulating the situation, and that doing so was a bonehead move. I’d yet to go more than thirty-six hours without seeing Bella since we began our relationship. I wondered how much time would pass before I would begin to forget how she felt around me. There was nothing I could do about that, of course, but there was a way I could remember what she looked like.

“Not that head. I want a picture of you with my cock in your mouth. Will you let me take one?”

“I’ll let you make a fucking movie. Just touch me a bit faster…oh, yes!”

I did as she asked, and seconds later, she came. When her moans became yawns, I carried her to the bedroom and carefully placed her on top of the covers. I knew she was exhausted, that her falling out with Alice was far harder than she let on. I grabbed a throw from the closet and tucked it around her before settling into an arm chair I’d pulled out of the far corner of the room. It was crazy to watch her when I could touch her, but it didn’t deter me. Soon I wouldn’t be able to do either with any regularity, and I wanted to study her—to etch her image in my mind so permanently that neither time nor distance could erase it.

I stayed awake for the rest of the night and watched Bella sleep. There were still a few weeks left before I had to leave for school, but a small voice inside my head—the one that was usually right—told me they would pass at a speed so fast I’d find myself questioning the laws of physics. Somehow despite my premonition, I was still surprised when they did. The next thing I knew, it was my last night at home before starting college.

We had dinner with my parents after spending the afternoon at the Art Museum, and it was almost like any other evening. Then I drove Bella home, and she stared straight ahead as if she were determined not to make eye contact with me. This changed only when I pulled a large gift bag from the trunk of the car.

“Shit,” she wailed. “How did you find out?”

“Find out what?”

“That my birthday was Sunday. I never mentioned it.”


“Wait, did I miss your birthday?”

“No, it’s this coming Sunday. So this isn’t–”

“No. It’s not a birthday gift,” I assured her, though I had no idea why it would bother her so much if it were. “Just something I wanted you to have. Let’s go inside and you can open it.”

I followed her into her living room, where she sat on the piano bench and reached into the bag, pulling out a package from Tiffany’s.

“You’d better not have.”

I knew what she was thinking, and honestly, I wanted to buy her jewelry. I wanted her to have something of mine touching her when I couldn’t. I decided against it, because I’d had a feeling she would think it was too much—both from monetary and symbolic standpoints. I hated that I was right.

“I didn’t. At least not what you’re thinking, anyway.”

She unwrapped her gift, a silver frame with one of the portraits we had taken down the shore a few weeks ago. Realizing it came with no declaration or promise, she instantly relaxed. It was downright offensive, but I wasn’t going to let it bother me—not on our last night together.

“I love it. Thank you.”

I fell to my knees before her and pressed my head against her breast. Her fingers began to play with my hair in a gesture loving enough to renew my faith that we could make it.

“You know this is the beginning, right?”

“For you.” Bella’s fatalism was nothing if not consistent.

“For us,” I corrected. I lifted the hem of her shirt and exposed her stomach, which I began to cover with kisses. I couldn’t let the evening end in a minor key. “Now, why don’t you come down here and show me just how much you’re going to miss me?”

I slipped my hands under her skirt and tugged at her underwear. She lifted her hips and I pulled off her panties. She dropped to the floor, straddling me, and as soon as I could open my pants I was inside her. I didn’t make love to her, and I wasn’t gentle. It wasn’t about that. I needed to claim her, to leave my mark. Four minutes and three seconds later, we lay on the floor, silent and sated, staring at the ceiling.

That was, until I could no longer remain quiet.

“Why were you so scared?”


“I saw the look in your eyes when you pulled out the bag from Tiffany’s. It was pure terror.”

I rolled over so I could see her face. “What specifically made you uncomfortable?”

“I don’t like the idea of you spending money on me.”

“I have plenty of money.”

“Actually, you don’t. Your parents do.”

“Give me a few years. Look, I get that in many ways I’m at a point in my life where I have nothing of my own to offer you. But I do have an income of sorts. I may not be able to sign a check yet, but I have been picking up the tab, so to speak.”

“I know you don’t have a job. You couldn’t. You’re with me every waking moment.”

“No, I don’t work per se. I do have a trust fund that I gain control of in a few years. I’ve also saved every penny that has ever been given to me. The interest from it provides me with ample spending money. So although I don’t have a job, I’m not running up to my dad and asking him for a few hundred dollars every time I want to take you out on a real date.”

“You know my financial independence is a huge source of pride for me.”

“Oh, I know.” I smiled. “Just another reason why you’re a great catch.”

“I’m serious.”

“So am I. But back on topic, I know you’ve been looking at tomorrow with great trepidation, and I understand why. Tell me something. Are you frightened more by the idea of commitment in general or by the fact that I am committed to you?”

She fumbled with her skirt, carefully avoiding my gaze. It could only mean her answer was all of the above.

“Bella, look at me.” I put my hand on her cheek and nudged her face toward mine. “We’ve never talked about the future.”

“Of course we haven’t. You’re seventeen and we’ve been together less than three months.”

“We both know your reaction earlier went a bit beyond discomfort with my spending money on you. It was the connotation of receiving a gift from Tiffany’s. I know the intensity of what we have isn’t something that comes along often. Meanwhile, I’ve watched you cringe every time anyone mentions my leaving for college. You’ve insisted we have all this dialogue about what I want and what’s best for me, despite the fact that from day one I’ve made my desires perfectly clear. Now it’s your turn. Bella, what do you want?”

“I want you to enjoy yourself, to go off to school tomorrow completely unencumbered. I’ll be here when you get back.”

“I’m coming home this weekend.”

“Are you crazy? We discussed this. You should take the first few weekends and stay on campus until you settle in.”

“I’m not missing your birthday, Bella.”

“For the record, I hate my birthday. Birthdays involve two things—being the center of attention and receiving gifts, neither of which I enjoy.”

“Then come see me on campus.”

“I can’t do that,” she said, shaking her head.

“Why? It’s easy. You shoot straight up 295 and turn right at the Gothic architecture.”

She waved her hand. “You know what I mean.”

“Do I? Because it seems like you’re trying to pull away from me.”

I sat up and straightened my clothes. “This isn’t how I envisioned our last night at home together.”

“Edward, I love you.”

“Then trust me,” I implored her. “Trust in us.”

I pulled her against me and kissed her with everything I had. It would have to be enough.

“Take me upstairs.”

I picked her up and carried her to bedroom as carefully as one would handle anything he prized more than his own life. I made love to her reverently until the night turned into tomorrow. Wanting to stay all night but knowing I couldn’t, I made my way downstairs. Bella followed me in silence, and I wondered if she was just as unsure of what to say as I was. I decided to try to make our goodbye as normal as possible.

“Good night, Bella. I’ll call you.”

I drove home with the top down, hoping to get the image of Bella on the brink of tears out of my head. It didn’t work, and as I crawled into bed, her sad smile haunted me. I suddenly remembered that my phone was dead. I wearily rolled out of bed to plug it in, and its display illuminated a text message from Bella containing words I thought I’d never hear.

I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

I didn’t have to think about my reply.

You will.


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  1. on 06 Jul 2010 at 8:03 pmluckyduck0076

    Awe! Uber sweet! Bella has opened up. Alice is a bitch. I hope Rose was a bitch to Alice. And that is all. :)