Etude


Thursday morning after mowing Bella’s lawn, I entered her house through her back door to find her leaning on her kitchen counter with her laptop open, seemingly lost in thought. One of her knees was bent and the other was straight, causing her backside to stick out behind her and press against her shorts, which despite hanging low on her hips barely covered her ass cheeks. Her tight tank top stopped about three inches above where her shorts began. She was positively indecent.

The sight before me alone made doing her yard work worthwhile. Needless to say, I didn’t mind her near nakedness. I was, however, starting to wonder if she had any non-teacher clothes that were suitable to wear in public, or even around my parents. I made a mental note to pack extra t-shirts for the shore house, just in case all of her clothing was equally suggestive. I already could hear my mother making vague references to Freudian theory while forming her own hypotheses on why a person would feel compelled to appear that sexual all the time, never once entertaining the possibility that perhaps there was no deeper meaning behind her attire, that Bella might just feel more comfortable this way.

Lucky for me that she did.

Just when I thought it would be impossible for her to be any sexier, Bella looked up at me and pouted her lips.

“There’s rain in the forecast for this weekend,” she said. “That sucks.”

My mind went right to the gutter, where since becoming involved with Bella, it had taken up semi-permanent residence.

Unable to resist, I walked over to her and pressed my hand against the bare skin at her midriff. “Have you ever thought about where that expression comes from?”

“What expression?”

“Saying something sucks.”

A diabolical smile formed on her lips as she threaded her index finger through one of my belt loops and pulled me tightly against her.

“I can show you.” She licked her lips suggestively, and placed her other hand against my bare chest.

The ensuing mental image of Bella, bare breasted and on her knees before me caused my cheeks to heat up.

“I’m aware of the mechanics.”

Truth be told, I was more than aware of what Bella sucking my cock would entail. I was kind of obsessed with it, and would be more than happy to accept a demonstration if I were at all convinced I’d be able to last more than five seconds in her mouth. If my recent shower sessions involving the mental image of Bella taking me into her mouth were any indication, I’d probably jizz all over her face before the head of my dick even passed through her lips. I wasn’t in the mood to be humiliated.

“I was wondering how saying something sucks came to be a negative thing. Though it’s not something I’ve experienced first hand, I can’t imagine it’s…”

I stopped speaking when Bella rose up onto her toes and gently sucked the skin at the base of my neck into her mouth. Suddenly dizzy, I placed my hands on her hips in an attempt to steady myself.

She pulled my hips against hers before rolling back onto flat feet, her pelvis brushing against my erection accidentally on purpose.

“You were saying?” The seemingly innocent smile on her lips could only come from a woman who knew exactly what she was doing.

“I have no idea,” I admitted sheepishly.

“We were talking about your cock in my mouth.” She looked down at the bulge in my jeans before adding, “Theoretically, of course.”

“Actually, I was speaking more generally. How did the act of sucking a penis become pejorative enough to spawn the quintessential slang expression for undesirable?”

Bella shrugged. “Some women find it derogatory.”

“Do you?”

Please say no. Please say no. Please say no.

One corner of her mouth lifted into a half smile that was all sex. “No.”

My cock took note. My mind tried to pay attention to what Bella was saying.

“Though, I suppose whether or not the act of fellatio sucks in and of itself could be determined by the sexual gratification or lack thereof of the person being fellated. The person going down may not be very good at it.”

“Oh. I get it. Someone started off blowing and ended up sucking.”

“Something like that.” Bella let out a small laugh. “Though suck and blow are used interchangeably, you can’t assume either ends with a swallow.”

I needed to get my mind off the thought of Bella swallowing my load, and she was too cute for me to pass up a chance to tease her.

“I can’t believe they let you teach English without knowing the origins of such an integral and beloved phrase.”

“Right, because this is totally something they ask you on the Praxis. This may come as a shock to you being that you skipped ninth grade and all, but freshmen are still fairly well-mannered. I’ve never had a student ask me to explain the etymology of a slang obscenity.”

“Until now,” I qualified.

Her expression shifted from playful to annoyed in three and a half seconds.

She abruptly dropped her hands from my waist and turned back to face her laptop. “You’re not one of my students.”

I must have unwittingly struck a nerve.

“I was only playing, Bella.” I tried my best to sound earnest. “I didn’t mean to imply that you are anything less than the consummate professional.”

“I know.” Her demeanor softened slightly. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I’m just overly sensitive about the fact that you were a student where I teach. That particular aspect of our relationship troubles me a bit, even more so than your age. I’m sure in time I’ll get over it.”

I wondered if she meant she’d get over my age when enough time passed that society would no longer deem me inappropriate for her, or if it would take her a while to come to terms with the fact that had I not skipped a grade, she would have been my ninth grade English teacher. Regardless, it was becoming more and more apparent to me that despite her insistence to the contrary, my age and former subordinate status were in fact issues.

She looked at me nervously. As if she somehow sensed the nature of my sudden introspection, she shrugged and offered me a tentative smile. “I suck.”

“Indeed you do.”

She turned her body away from the counter and faced me, once more hooking her index finger into the belt loop of my jeans. Though the gesture itself was identical to her earlier one, this time it appeared far more contrite than seductive.

“Are you upset with me?” Her quiet voice dripped with concern.

I shook my head and stroked her cheek with the back of my hand. “No. I was just teasing you. Earlier you said you didn’t find giving blow jobs derogatory. If that statement was based on personal experience, it would mean that you do, in fact, suck.”

“Oh,” she said, giggling.

“Bad pun, I know, but I thought it was funny.”

“It is funny, in a seventeen-year-old guy kind of way. You’re supposed to crack jokes like that, and I’m supposed to roll my eyes and find them annoying. I guess the fact that I found it genuinely amusing speaks volumes about my maturity.” She stood in front of me, hanging onto my belt loops, laughing though too self-conscious about it to look me in the face, only doing so when she began speaking in a more serious tone of voice. “Self-disparaging comments aside, now that I think about it, I believe the expression in question began as an insult to homosexuals. You know, back in the day when we liked to pretend gay men were the only people who liked to suck dick.”

This conversation was getting extremely interesting.

“I know you said you didn’t find it derogatory, but do you enjoy it?”

“What?” she asked. “Sucking dick?”

I nodded.

“Yes. Quite a bit, actually.”

I could feel the blood drain from my cheeks and rush straight to my cock. If we continued with this topic, I would lose what little willpower I had left and let her do whatever she wanted to me.

Who was I kidding? If she made that pouty face again, I’d probably beg her to make me a man. I could stick it in any of her orifices with the same result. Once inside her, I’d last somewhere between twelve and twenty-six seconds, and I would never hear from her again. I needed to stick with my plan. Fucking Bella now would only fuck everything up.

I decided to change the subject. “So, about this weekend. I was thinking I’d pick you up around nine, if that works for you.”

“I wish it were just the two of us going away. The whole parental accompaniment angle is more than a little unsettling.”

“What specifically makes you uncomfortable? They just want to get to know you better.”

“Right. That way they can resent my presence in your life with concrete reasoning, rather than doing so only in theory.”

I took her hand in mine and gave it a gentle squeeze. “They’ve seen how happy you’ve made me. It would be impossible for them to disapprove of you knowing how I feel when I’m around you.”

“Then why do I feel like I’m being escorted to the interrogation room at Abu Ghraib?”

“Are you serious? I know things didn’t go well with my mother the first time you met, but I thought after you two talked at the mall things were better.”

“They were. She was extremely warm and apologetic, and I have no reason to feel strange around her. Still, my own mother doesn’t enjoy spending time with me. Why should yours?”

I wasn’t sure how I should respond. It was becoming more and more obvious to me that despite her insistence to the contrary, Bella’s strained relationship with her parents caused her a fair amount of pain.

“Bella, I know you’re not close to your parents–”

“That’s kind of an understatement. At best, they barely tolerate me. At worst…” She stared into space in the general direction of the counter. Nineteen seconds later, she sighed. “Let’s just say I have very little experience with functional parental relationships.”

“Surely you’ve been around some of your friends’ parents for more than a few hours at a time.”

She nodded. “Yes, I’ve spent a fair amount of time with Alice’s parents. They’re borderline psychotic.”

“Oh.” I wasn’t sure what to say to that. If I had her experiences, I’d probably be nervous, too. I pulled her into my arms and stroked her hair in a pathetic attempt to soothe her. “They’re just people, Bella. Really. I think once you get comfortable around them, you will genuinely enjoy their company.”

She took a step back and looked up at me. “Do you genuinely enjoy their company?”

“Yes.”

“Why?” She leaned her hip against the cabinet, and rested one elbow on the counter top. “That came out all wrong. I mean, what do you like best about each of them?”

“You’ll see for yourself tomorrow.”

“I know, but this will help me. It will give me something to focus on if I start to feel intimidated.”

I smiled, while I tried to select a single trait of each parent to share with Bella. They had so many positive attributes from which I could choose. I settled on those I thought would make her feel the most relaxed.

“My mother is incredibly perceptive. She can meet someone new and know what motivates them just as well as she would if they came with user’s manuals.” She’ll know your intentions are pure, I added silently, hoping Bella would understand what I was implying. I knew if I stated it directly, she’d disregard it as something untrue I was saying simply to comfort her. “My father is incredibly accepting, which is amazing when you consider how he was raised.”

Bella laughed. “In the wilderness by a pack of wolves?”

“Something like that. You’ll understand when you meet my grandparents.”

“They aren’t going to be there, too, are they?” There was true panic in her voice.

“No. I wouldn’t do that to you. Well, not yet, anyway,” I joked.

Bella was not amused.

“I know you’re nervous, and I can appreciate that under the circumstances.” I pulled her against me and cupped her face in my hands. “Do you trust me?”

She closed her eyes and sighed, before bringing one of her hands up to clutch mine, which was still pressed against her cheek.

“I shouldn’t trust you. I haven’t known you long enough…” She opened her eyes to meet my gaze. “…but I do.”

I pressed my lips against hers and swept my tongue into her mouth, smiling in the midst of our kiss when I realized she tasted like coffee. I could feel the warmth of her skin through the thin cotton of her clothing as she clung to me, grinding her hips into my erection.

My restraint was rapidly waning. I broke the kiss and rested my hands at the base of her neck.

“Do you mind if I take a shower? As much as I’m enjoying this, I’d like it more if I weren’t drenched in sweat.”

And if I weren’t painfully erect. Cold water would benefit me in more ways than one. If not, I may have to call my dad and ask him if it’s normal to have erections lasting longer than four hours without having taken Viagra. He’d happily provide me with medical advice, then mock me about it until I die.

“Sure. You know where everything is. I’ll meet you upstairs in a few minutes.”

I placed a quick kiss on her forehead and ran to her bathroom. I turned the cold water on full blast and beat off as quickly as possible before stepping under the frigid stream. Four minutes later, I was clean, dry, and dressed. I found Bella lying on her bed reading The Great Gatsby.

I stretched out beside her. “When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?”

She closed her book before rolling onto her side to face me. “That’s kind of a random question.”

“Not really. Here you are, a ninth-grade teacher in the midst of your summer vacation, perusing ninth-grade reading material for fun. Did you always want to teach?”

“No. I actually don’t recall having any career aspirations. I just wanted to have a family.” She covered her face with her hands. “I can’t believe I actually admitted that. It sounds awful.”

“What’s awful about it? If my father were here, he’d say that it’s easier to remove a brain tumor than it is to care for a toddler. He would know, having assisted with both.”

Bella laughed and rested her hands on the bed. “He’s probably right, though I wasn’t longing to be a mother. I think more than anything, I wanted to achieve the comfort that I assumed ran rampant in families that were more—for lack of a better way of saying it—traditional than mine. I don’t think I longed for the cookie cutter family per se. I wasn’t clinging to the idea that because my home was broken, I was destined to be as well. There’s more to it than that. I knew kids in single parent households who felt wanted, like they would be missed if they weren’t there. I knew I couldn’t change how things were, but I decided that when I grew up, I would find the people to whom I really belonged.”

I fought the urge to declare my feelings for her, to tell her I felt my place in life was at her side, that henceforth she would only be alone if she chose to be, and that my love for her was more than enough to make her whole. It wasn’t my fear that killed the words in my throat. Though I hadn’t known her long, I knew her well enough that I fully realized my feelings would terrify her.

We spent the next sixty-four minutes on her bed, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. I hated to go home, but had a lot of things to pull together before we went down the shore the next day. Last minute details kept me busy until late in the evening, at which point I called her from my room to wish her goodnight.

She picked up on the first ring.

“I was just thinking of you.”

“Really now?” I was intrigued. “What were you thinking?”

“I was touching myself, and thinking how much I wished it had been your hands on me…in me…rather than my own.”

Whoa.

Wow.

What?

I was in shock, but not for the obvious reason. I’d always assumed girls jerked off, too. I just didn’t think they discussed doing so openly. Meanwhile, Bella just admitted she was masturbating while thinking of me. That was pretty much as open as she could get, unless of course she had a web cam. Maybe one day she could show me.

Wait, was this real? Was I actually fantasy material for a woman who could wank off to mental images of every single sexual act defined in Urban Dictionary based on memories of her own personal experiences? Was a woman whose past sexual partners probably number well into triple digits bringing really herself to orgasm while imagining my fingers in her vagina? Did she honestly close her eyes and dream of my cock? Would the reality of my anatomy live up to her fantasy?

Well, she has seen my erect penis, and she had felt it pressed against her. Even if she’d never taken it for a test drive, she had a decent idea of what I’m working with, and the thought alone got her off, even with the equipment in question in absentia. That was more than a little awesome.

Her voice brought me back to reality.

“Does that make you uncomfortable?” she asked.

It made me a sex god.

It made me Chuck fucking Norris.

“No,” I answered a bit too enthusiastically.

“I started by touching my breasts…”

Wait, was she going to give me details? This was too good to waste. I undid my jeans, took my cock out of my boxers, and began to work it with my hand as she continued speaking.

“I squeezed them and pinched my nipples. Then I trailed my hands down lower, until I found my clit.”

“What next?” I was amazed I was capable of producing intelligible sound.

“I flicked my index finger back and forth, while pumping two fingers from my other hand in and out of me, until I came. Would you like to come with me, Edward?”

“Yes.”

In fact, I’d probably come momentarily.

“Are you alone?”

“Yes.”

Unless, of course, my penis counted as another party. It should. It was, after all, sexual fantasy inducing.

“I want you to take your cock out of your pants, Edward.”

As usual, I was so ahead of my teacher. So was my head.

“Is it hard for me?” Her voice was a breathy whisper.

“Always.”

“Did you take it out?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“The things I want to do to your cock. I could hardly control myself in the shower that day. I wanted to fall to my knees and lick you, to pull your cock deep into my mouth. Would you have liked that, Edward? Would you like for me to suck you off?”

“Oh, yes.”

I was correct this morning, after all. Bella did, indeed, suck.

“Are you touching yourself? I want you to touch yourself. I want you to make yourself come.”

She didn’t have to ask me twice. I came all over my clothes in the most intense orgasm I’ve ever had. I could say this was because I’d had a day of solid foreplay followed by phone sex, but I knew better.

It was because I was with Bella.

“Are you okay?” She sounded panicked.

I laughed. “I’m so much better than okay.”

“I liked hearing you, knowing that I was helping you bring yourself pleasure. I wish I could have seen you…to watch your face as you came.”

“Soon,” I promised.

“Edward…” Bella paused and took a deep breath. “I don’t want to pressure you, but why exactly are we waiting?”

She sounded nervous, as if she doubted my attraction to her.

I wanted to reassure her. “Remember when you said you had wanted your first time to be with someone with whom you were in love?”

“Yes.”

“You can still have that, you know. Maybe just not at the time in your life you thought you would. Have you ever been in love, Bella? Really and truly in love?”

“No.”

“I think I can be that person for you. I don’t know why…” I struggled to find the right verbiage.

“Edward, I–”

“You don’t have to say anything you’re not ready to say. I know you aren’t in love with me…yet. I also know you will be. When you do decide you love me, when you know it’s real, I want to give you so much more than the orgasm you just gave me. I want to give you all of me.”

She was completely silent on the other end.

I sighed. “You just aren’t there yet.”

“I know, Edward. I know. But I’m getting closer.”

It was the most encouraging thing she could have said to me. The word closer implied she was already mostly there.

“It will be worth it, Bella. I promise you. Now you need to get some sleep, and I’ll see you in a few hours. Goodnight, love.”

“Goodnight, Edward.”

I closed my eyes and replayed the fantasy she’d described to me with slight modification. In my version, after the tremors from her orgasm subsided, she trailed kisses across my chest and told me she loved me. We fell asleep in each other’s arms, naked and secure in our feelings and future, the certainty of our newly formed commitment proving it had been more than worth our while to wait.

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  1. on 06 Jul 2010 at 5:01 pmluckyduck0076

    Edward seems like the hopeless romantic. Fantastic writer you are. :)

    [Reply]


  2. on 08 Jan 2011 at 10:42 pmSea4Me

    Ah, he thinks it’s all so easy.

    Forgot to mention: I love the lawn mower details!

    [Reply]