“Please don’t make fun of me; I cherish every second I have with you.” She pressed her face into the palm of my hand and closed her eyes. “It wasn’t all that long ago when your touch topped the list of things I thought I’d never again experience.”

I wondered what she was thinking—if non-sexual physical affection still made her feel uncomfortable and if she was still having difficulty trusting me.  Logic told me that she had to have doubts—god knows I wasn’t without mine, though it was safe to assume they were nothing like hers. I didn’t question that I loved her or even that she loved me, but our relationship was far more complicated than that. My greatest fear was that she loved me more than she loved herself, and that in the absence of sufficient self-esteem, Bella’s contrition for Thanksgiving would manifest itself in ways that would do nothing but contribute to her own detriment—specifically, that she would martyr herself.

The fact she hadn’t verbalized it didn’t matter; when she opened her eyes, I knew she was still afraid I would leave her. As long as she questioned my commitment to her, the possibility that at some point she’d panic and run wasn’t all that remote. It created a frustrating dichotomy that I couldn’t begin to figure out how to address.

“I don’t ever want to be without you,” I said, hoping to reassure her.

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2 Responses

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  1. on 09 Jun 2010 at 6:21 pmlovestoread24

    What a great teaser……….. looking forward to the chapter.

    [Reply]


  2. on 09 Jun 2010 at 6:51 pmpatty

    my sentiments exactly. i dont ever want to be without this fic
    seriously it’s unhealthy how much i love it ;) awesome teaser! can’t wait. ;)

    [Reply]