The Assumption of the Virgin

Though Edward had classes three days of the week, I was still incredibly grateful to be on Spring Break. Having my days free allowed me to spend every moment he was not in school at his side. If such a thing as Utopian romance existed, the current incarnation of my relationship with Edward would surely qualify. We had all the passion and excitement of new love coupled with a quiet acceptance and respect that can only be built over time. I was overwhelmed with a sense of contentment that I’d previously thought attainable only through the use of doctor-prescribed pharmaceuticals. If I spent the rest of my life feeling as I did now, I would die happy and fulfilled.

Assuming, of course, that the ever-present sexual tension between us didn’t force me into an early grave.

I was sipping my coffee pondering this very thought when Edward called me.

“Shouldn’t you be in class?” I asked.

“I’m about to go in now. So, about our date later…”

“Canceling on me already?”

He laughed. “Not on your life. I just wanted to let you know I’ll be over to pick you up at one, and that you should pack an overnight bag.”

Though we’d shared a bed multiple times without physical intimacy, something about his tone told me tonight was going to be different.

“Have you gotten your test results?”


I was suddenly irrationally panicked. “What were they?”

“Clean. I told you they would be.”

“Right,” I muttered nervously.

Edward seemed to understand. “Just so you know, I have no expectations outside of spending time alone with you. Look, I’ve got to go. They’re getting ready to start. I love you, and I’ll see you in a bit.”

As much as I wanted to be with Edward, I was still very nervous about it. I spent the next few hours doing housework and running errands. I was grateful for any available distraction and kept myself as busy as possible. The morning passed quickly and before I knew it, Edward and I were in his car heading east on the Atlantic City Expressway.

“Are you taking me where I think you’re taking me?” I asked.

He laughed. “If you’re thinking the shore house, then you would be correct. I wanted privacy, and it seemed fitting. Besides, I miss it down there.”

“Well, it’s April. You probably haven’t been to the beach since October.”

“Actually, not since the Labor Day before last.”

I looked at him in disbelief.

His eyes stayed fixed on the road as he elaborated. “I didn’t come down here at all last summer. I went to Europe instead.”

I was both saddened and relieved. Though I hated the idea of him bringing girls to a place that held such significance to us, I was fairly certain that the fact he’d not been to his beach house once since I ended our relationship was not a coincidence.

“All summer?” I asked.


“What did you do on your eighteenth birthday?”

“I spent it at the Louvre.”

I smiled. That was so Edward. No wonder I felt his presence around me at the Art Museum on his birthday. In a sense, he spent the day the same way I did.

“How very cerebral of you,” I teased. “Most Americans in that situation would have gone drinking.”

He smiled. “I may have hit a bar or two with my dad after the museum closed. You know how he was. He wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

We spent the rest of the drive talking about his experiences in Europe. Before I knew it, we were strolling on the beach in front of his house. We held hands, but didn’t speak. In the absence of any other sound, the crashing of the waves was deafening. As we walked over the same patch of sand on which Edward first declared his love for me, words seemed both unnecessary and redundant. We stood in silence, and he pulled me into his arms.

The sea breeze was frigid, and despite the warmth from his body I began to shiver. Edward picked me up and carried me inside the house, heading straight to the room we’d once shared before depositing me next to the bed. His eyes bore into mine, and I knew exactly why he’d brought me here.

I wanted it, too.

Though I was no longer chilled, I shivered. He stroked my arms over my sweater as I silently willed myself to calm down.

“You’re trembling. Are you still cold?”

“No, just a bit nervous.”

I sat on the edge of the bed, and he immediately joined me.

“Don’t be,” he whispered. “It’s just me.”

I clenched my eyes shut and exhaled. “Exactly.”

“We don’t have to do this if you’re not ready.”

“Oh, believe me, I’m ready. I just…”

He rubbed my shoulders. “What? You can tell me.”

I spoke with trepidation. “It’s been a long time since I’ve done this. Eighteen months, to be exact. We’ve had six months of foreplay masquerading as friendship, and I’m terrified that having sex with me will be anticlimactic for you.”

“If I remember correctly, it had been five months since you’d had sex the first time we were intimate.”

“That’s right.”

“You weren’t nervous then.”

“That was different. Your inexperience alleviated my anxiety. That’s no longer the case. You’ve now had me, and I’m sure there were others…”

I stopped speaking and looked at him expectantly.

“Are you asking me about my sex life during our separation?”

I thought a bit before answering him. His blood work came back clean, and nothing he could tell me would change my feelings for him. I didn’t need to know, but at the same time, not knowing would drive me insane.

“Yes,” I admitted. “If you don’t mind telling me, that is.”

“No, I don’t mind. It’s only fair, considering how I hounded you about yours. I haven’t brought it up because I thought you didn’t want to know. I remember all too well how I felt when you answered a very similar question. I instantly regretted asking.”

“Of course you did. I’m sure it sucks to find out your girlfriend is an epic slut.”

“You know that’s not what I mean. Though it was hardly a revelation, it was hard for me to hear you’d been with other people. It meant that I could never be to you what you were to me. You’d done everything there is to do with both genders. I thought I would never be able to satisfy you. I was too inexperienced to view your past in the proper perspective. How could I? You were my first crush, my first kiss, my first love…” He stroked my cheek before adding with a small laugh, “…my first non-masturbatory orgasm.”

The nagging question in my mind wouldn’t go away.

On the one hand, I thought I didn’t want to know the answer. In the context of where we stood now, it was irrelevant. Still, I knew I’d always wonder…

“Have I been your only?”

“My only love?” His fingertips traced my shoulders. “Yes.”

“No, the only source of your non-masturbatory orgasms.”

“Oh.” He put his hands in his lap and looked down at them briefly. There was the faintest tinge of a blush when he met my gaze.

As much as I’d missed it, I hated that it was making its reappearance during this conversation.

“No,” he said finally. “My relationship with Kate did involve physical intimacy.”

That much, I already knew.

“I’d assumed it did.” I looked away from him.

“Talk to me, Bella.” He brought his hand to my cheek and nudged me to face him.

I sighed. “I never thought you would remain celibate. Part of me even hoped you wouldn’t. I neither expected nor wanted you to pine away for me.”

“Oh, I pined. I thought of you constantly even while in a committed relationship with someone else. Months later, I still feel like a complete asshole for it.” He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. It just stings a bit.”

“I know.” He reached over to me and squeezed my hand. “It’s okay if you don’t want to hear the rest.”

Uh oh, here it comes.

“No, please tell me.”

“Kate and I were together for seven months, and I really wanted it to work. We were in the same place in life, lived in the same building, came from the same background, and have all the same goals. She’s honest and genuine, and was the best friend I could ever ask for at a time in my life when I desperately needed one. I’ll always love her for everything she did for me, but I was never in love with her. I couldn’t be, no matter how much I wished otherwise. She’s amazing, but she’s not you.”

“Were you already dating her when I saw you at David’s bris?”

“No. Actually, that was what compelled me to try to move on. Do you remember what you did that afternoon?”

“Yes. I humiliated myself.”

“That’s how you remember it?”

I nodded. “I wanted to reopen communication with you. Needless to say, I failed.”

“Wow.” He squinted and shook his head, trying to process my admission. “Whoa. That puts a whole new spin on things. No, I was talking about when you asked if we could start over. You held out your hand and said, ‘I’m Bella.’ It was as if our entire relationship meant nothing to you. Meanwhile, you stood in front of me wearing the very outfit that I’d peeled off you during what was quite possibly the greatest moment of my life. I assumed you were sending me a message, and I let go of any hope I’d had that you would change your mind.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”

Edward pressed a finger to my lips. “You don’t have to apologize. We’re past that.”

He rested his back onto the bed and pulled me against his chest. I snuggled up to him throwing one of my legs on top of his.

“Well, this conversation is a mood killer,” I muttered into his chest.

“I know.” He stroked my hair. “I must admit, I’m glad to have it behind us. I was worried about how you’d take it.”

“Why?” I propped myself up so I could see his face. “You were under no obligation to me at the time.”

“I’m completely aware of that, but remember that night at the diner? You flipped out at the mere suggestion I’d dated other women.”

“I know. It was a momentary lapse for which I am extremely sorry.” I rested my head on his chest. “So you had sex with Kate,” I repeated dumbly.


“Anyone else?”


“You’re kidding.”

“I wouldn’t joke about this. If you’re asking for the number of sexual partners I’ve had, it would be two including you.”

I looked at him in disbelief.

“You seem surprised.”

“I am surprised. All this time, I’ve been picturing you with a harem of skanks.”

Edward laughed.

“What’s so funny? It was obvious when I visited how many of the girls up there want you.”

“That doesn’t mean I’d want to take them up on it. You should know me well enough by now to realize that I’m not the kind of person who can have sex with no feelings involved. I’d never just hook with someone because she was hot and willing.”

“Isn’t that what college is about? Random, drunken sexual encounters with people you pretend not to know while sober?”

He tickled me under my arms. “Maybe it was for you. I can see your list of school supplies right now. Pens, notebooks, condoms, knee pads…”

“Hey.” I smacked his hands away, giggling. “Everyone needs to experiment sexually at some point in their lives.”

“Oh, I’m all about experimenting sexually.” He moved his hands to my chest, squeezing my breasts, before settling one of them between my legs. He began to stroke me over my pants. “There are so many things I want to do to you.”

“Really, now? And what would they be?”

He kissed my neck, and spoke directly into my ear. “I want to touch you, taste you, bury myself in you.”

His teeth grazed my earlobe, and I let out a low whimper.

“I want to see the face you make when you come. You close your eyes and suck the right corner of your lower lip into your mouth.”

“I do that?” I asked.

“Each and every time.”

His tongue flicked briefly into my ear, and he continued speaking. “I want to hear you gasp and moan, and know that every sound you make is for me.”

He sucked lightly on my neck. “I want to suck on your fingers, your nipples, your clit, and then kiss you with your taste still on my lips.”

He began to apply a little more pressure between my legs. Though I was still fully clothed, I thought I would spontaneously combust from arousal.

He traced my lower lip with his tongue. “I want to penetrate you in every way possible, to finally make you belong to me in the way that I’ve always belonged to you.”

He stopped moving his hand between my legs and rested it on my chest.

“But only if you’re ready,” he added in a whisper.

I sat up and straddled him, rocking my hips against his. He closed his eyes and let out a low groan as his hands found my bottom. The moment I felt his hardness beneath me, I knew I was through with waiting. I pulled off my sweater and tossed it behind me. Seconds later, my bra followed suit. I leaned forward and began to unbutton Edward’s shirt.

“Oh, I’m ready.”

He flipped me onto my back and pressed his lips against mine. His tongue swept inside my mouth, tasting and teasing, as he shrugged out of his shirt. The light spattering of hair on his chest tickled my breasts, and my nipples began to harden.

I needed more of him.

I undid the top button of his jeans and lowered the zipper. Still kissing, we wiggled out of the rest of our clothing. When he lowered his body onto mine, I felt overwhelmed by heat and skin.

And his erection.

Hello, old friend.

I moved my hand between us and squeezed his cock, running my thumb over the head. Edward moaned, and began squeezing my nipples with his thumb and forefinger. Gasping, I moved my hand from his penis to his hair. He brought my nipple into his mouth and began to suckle, just as he entered me with his fingers.

I thought I was going to come off the bed.

“So wet,” he whispered into my breast. He began to work his thumb over my most sensitive place, and I knew I was done.

“Edward, I’m…Oh…I’m going to come.”

Without altering the movement of his hand between my legs, he pinched one of my nipples. My hips bucked against his hand, and I let out sounds I didn’t know I was capable of making.

My climax came suddenly, and even the soles of my feet tingled with its intensity. I opened my eyes to see Edward smiling down at me.


“You made the face.” He looked quite pleased with himself.

I pressed my lips against his, and swept my tongue inside his mouth. He settled his hips between my legs, and rubbed my slit with his erection. He broke the kiss. For several seconds we lay completely still, the tip of penis poised at my entrance, his eyes staring into mine.

“I love you,” I whispered. “Then and now.”

“Always?” he asked.


He cupped my face in his hands. “I love you, too.”

Without taking his eyes off mine, he pressed himself inside me.

I felt loved.

I felt at peace.

I felt whole.

It was already like nothing I’d experienced before, and he had not yet begun to move.

“You’re crying.” He brushed my cheek with his thumb. “Why are you crying?”

I closed my eyes and smiled. “I think I just lost my virginity.”

I didn’t need to elaborate. The expression on his face when I opened my eyes told me he understood completely.

He shifted his hips, and we both gasped in pleasure. He moved in and out of me, each thrust punctuated with a moan. His pace increased, and I knew he was close. I kept my eyes open and fixed on his face. Soon he clenched his shut and twitched inside of me, crying out my name with his orgasm. Fully spent, he collapsed on top of me, resting his head between my breasts.

My fingers played in his hair, and as his breathing returned to normal I realized I’d never felt closer to another human being.

Nor had I ever felt so loved.

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  1. on 03 Jun 2010 at 6:40 pmpatty

    thanks for reposting this. i love going back and forth between AA5 and CP so it’s good to have comparison in this chapter too ;) thanks.


  2. on 03 Jun 2010 at 9:25 pmMary

    I always love when you post anything AA5 related. I left a review for this chapter on ff a million years ago when it was posted so this is just a comment to stroke your ego….you are awesome and you have mad writing skills!


  3. on 29 Aug 2010 at 4:04 pmizziey

    i really want to say something profound, and sweet, but my mind keeps saying stuff like: guh, wow, sigh.


  4. on 01 Oct 2010 at 3:42 pmlisa89

    This was beautiful, as always. Their physical reunion felt so intimate and meaningful; it took the sting off knowing he’d had sex with someone else. But I mean, really, it’s not that big of a deal. It isn’t as if Bella hasn’t slept with anyone else. I’m on the verge of rambling, so I’ll just tell you I thought this was as wonderful as every other part of this story.


  5. on 13 Nov 2010 at 1:23 amkng1986

    I like the different perspectives of the day at Rose and Emmetts. At least now they are talking things through and making sure they understand each other.

    I guess you can get revirginized after prolonged abstinence.


  6. on 25 Nov 2010 at 6:46 pmBooksgalore/Bookishqua

    Nor had I ever felt so loved. Eloquent. :) Books


  7. on 10 Dec 2010 at 12:53 amNKubie

    Ahhhhhhh. Finally it’s right.


  8. on 04 Jan 2011 at 3:45 amFancastride

    Her moment of truth she loves him, he loves her. The tears, well written.


  9. on 06 Jan 2011 at 8:41 pmSea4Me

    I must be a hopeless romantic. As benign as Edward’s experience was, and as easily as he explains that his love for B never waned, I still hate that he tried to move on. B with Jake in the original made me ill, too.

    Beyond my little issue there, this is a beautiful reunion. A nice balance of hot, sweet, & sincere. I’m looking forward to reading Counterpt, but will need to slow down my pace. Unfortunately.


  10. on 30 Jan 2011 at 12:16 amJanice

    Beautiful reunion!!! I think they got it right this time.